They call me Wartburga. They do that because I’m big, lumpy, indestructible-looking, and yet inexplicably attractive, just like that fake-German car (I mean, we can’t consider it German, though, because it was made in East Germany).

I suspect I’m also named after a car because I was found in the parking lot of Auchan Militari in 2014. I was 3 years old at the time, so I have already lived two thirds of my life in the shelter.

As you can see, I’m a lofty and impeccable guard dog, in case you need one around the yard at least…